Effective Communication Training London

Effective Communication Skills

Level and Type of Listening

1. Passive/not listening
- noise in the background, ignoring

2. Pretend listening
- also called responsive listening', using stock nods and smiles and of course, etc.

3. Biased/projective listening
- 'selective listening' and dismissing the other person's views

4. Misunderstood listening
- unconsciously overlaying your own interpretations and making things fit when they don't

5. Attentive listening
– personally, driven fact gathering and analysis often with manipulation of the other person

6. Active listening
- understanding feelings and gathering facts for largely selfish purposes

7. Empathic listening
-understanding and checking facts and feelings, usually to the listener's personal agenda

8. Facilitative listening

- listening, understanding fully, and helping, with the other person's needs uppermost

Conflict Management Steps  

1.  Reflect on the situation

2.  What type of conflict is it?

3.  Facts, Process, Purpose, Values

4.  What personality types are those involved?

5.  What is your natural response to the conflict?

6.  Avoid, Accommodate, Compete, Compromise, Collaborate

7.  Is this the best way? What might work better? 

Step 1- Everyone Tells It Like They See It

• Ask questions to draw out the other’s side of the conflict
• Set ground rules
• Listen without judging and avoid interrupting or blaming
• Take notes
• Paraphrase what they have said before saying your version

Step 2 - Everything Is Put On the Table

• Share your understanding of the conflict
• Present your case by using “I” statements
• Get to the point and focus on the issue, not on personalities, accusations or past encounters
• Include feelings, facts and perspectives

Step 3 - Focus on the Future

• Ask for a commitment to working out a solution
• Create a mutual action plan
• Avoid all talk and no action
• Get an agreement in specifics
• Follow through – do what you said you’d do
• Schedule an evaluation meeting

Technique for resolving conflict

• Set a time to talk and state your intentions and outcome
• State what led to the conflict and your feelings
• Explore all relevant information: facts, interpretations, feelings
• Repeat your colleague’s view of the event
• Explore solutions that would satisfy both of you
• Test your agreement and commitment

VAK Learning Styles Explanation

The VAK learning styles model suggests that most people can be divided into one of three preferred styles of learning. These three styles are as follows, (and there is no right or wrong learning style):

§   Someone with a Visual learning style has a preference for seen or observed things, including pictures, diagrams, demonstrations, displays, handouts, films, flip-chart, etc. These people will use phrases such as ‘show me’, ‘let’s have a look at that’ and will be best able to perform a new task after reading the instructions or watching someone else do it first. These are the people who will work from lists and written directions and instructions.

§   Someone with an Auditory learning style has a preference for the transfer of information through listening: to the spoken word, of self or others, of sounds and noises. These people will use phrases such as ‘tell me’, ‘let’s talk it over’ and will be best able to perform a new task after listening to instructions from an expert. These are the people who are happy being given spoken instructions over the telephone, and can remember all the words to songs that they hear!

§   Someone with a Kinaesthetic learning style has a preference for physical experience - touching, feeling, holding, doing practical hands-on experiences. These people will use phrases such as ‘let me try’, 'how do you feel?' and will be best able to perform a new task by going ahead and trying it out, learning as they go. These are the people who like to experiment, hands-on, and never look at the instructions first!

People commonly have a main preferred learning style, but this will be part of a blend of all three. Some people have a very strong preference; other people have a more even mixture of two or less commonly, three styles.

NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming

NLP started as an idea by Richard Bandler and coordinated with John Grinder into a field for Modelling Behavioural Excellence.  A mind-body link is a fundamental part of NLP. People tend to show their thinking strategies by moving their eyes and how we can use this to power up our communication. 

Signals and their Possible Meanings:
Looking right (generally) - creating, fabricating, guessing, lying, storytelling
Creating here is basically making things up and saying them. Depending on context this can indicate lying, Looking right and down indicates accessing feelings, or not, depending on the context
Looking left (generally) - recalling, remembering, retrieving 'facts' 
Recalling and then stating 'facts' from memory in an appropriate context often equates to telling the truth. Left downward looking indicates silent self-conversation or self-talk, typically in trying to arrive at a view or decision. 
Looking right and up - visual imagining, fabrication, lying
Related to the imagination and creative (right-side) parts of the brain, this upwards right eye movement can be a warning sign of fabrication if a person is supposed to be recalling and stating facts.
Looking right sideways - imagining sounds
Sideways eye movements are believed to indicate imagining (right) or recalling (left) sounds, which can what another person has said or could say
Looking right and down - accessing feelings
This is a creative signal but not a fabrication - it can signal that the person is self-questioning their feelings about something
Looking left and up - recalling images truthfulness
Related to accessing memory in the brain, rather than creating or imagining. A reassuring sign if signalled when the person is recalling and stating facts
Looking left sideways - recalling or remembering sounds
Looking sideways suggests sounds; looking left suggests recalling or remembering. This, therefore, could indicate recalling what has been said by another person
Looking left down - self-talking, rationalising
Thinking things through by self-talk - concerning an outward view, rather than the inward feelings view indicated by downward right looking