‘I said He said’. The Key to Effective Communication
Is it what I say or how I say it? What are we really trying to interpret? When it comes to effective communication the channels we choose can say a lot about the relationship. The avenues of delivery are as complex as the implication. Send an email or text message, make a phone call, meet over a coffee or choosing to use WhatsApp or Messenger can imply the level of the relationship.
Our opportunity to deliver a message has never had so many options. Yet how can you choose the right one for the right context?
Listen to me!
There is nothing that can substitute the sheer impact of a face–to–face conversation. The energy of people in negotiation can be a catalyst to so much more than simply the words. From the initial introduction of a handshake and that wonderful smile, to which seat they select and how they sit. All things considered imagine we all have a pair of antennas sticking out of our heads. Pedantically fiddling with the tuning as we continually try to decipher each other.
- How are they sitting, open arms, relaxed, closed off?
- Eye contact is it direct, too fierce or is there something distant…?
- Does the shrug of the shoulders emphasise or distract from the conviction?
- Are they hedging direct questions, or do they seem too eager to share?
- How relaxed is their posture?
- What’s with that tone of voice?
- Why did they suggest that?
Where are we?
When body language compliments the message there is a greater chance that trust can establish, and conversation can develop more easily. We begin to relax, the antenna stop waving. On the relationship grid, the progression of a partnership can be divided into four areas. Initial, Build, Manage and Optimise. The grid works to define where the relationship is, and how it can develop. Movement is anti-clockwise that replies on time invested. The ambition is to take the relationship from initiate into optimise where trust, transparency and understanding are well-and-truly grounded. Here the relationship has the greatest opportunity at being the most productive.
What’s-in-it-for-them?
Keeping the end in sight is (generally speaking) a great mindset to have. It suggests that one is more predisposed to giving rather than taking. If using messenger or whatsapp the suggestion is there is a personable relationship. The message may be short and succinct and to the point, no problems. Whereas an email may position an arms-length approach, suitable to the manage or build quadrants. Using Messenger or text suggests a relationship that is optimised. But how to get this stage?
It’s only a matter of time
If I ask something from someone the chance of having it completed hinges on what’s-in-it-for-them. The same applies when I trying to negotiate, make a demand and hit a brick wall. If I have a great working relationship in the optimise state then for the sake of our relationship the task may be agreed too, without objection. It doesn’t have to be a reward scenario to get a buy-in. However, if the relationship is in the initiate state, then the request will have far better success if there is an obvious benefit to the other person. Building that relationship to be efficient and productive well it’s all just a matter of time….