Being a ‘yes man’ or being surrounded by ‘yes men’ can be equally frustrating and seriously detrimental to performance. A manager who likes to see a meeting room full of smiling, congratulatory faces that are agreeing with everything he/she says will certainly not get the best from their staff. What should you be doing instead to be assertive?
Being a 'yes man' or being surrounded by 'yes men' can be equally frustrating and seriously detrimental to performance. A manager who likes to see a meeting room full of smiling, congratulatory faces that are agreeing with everything he/she says will certainly not get the best from their staff. Ego is fine in its place, but should not be the focus of a manager or an office. A manager should be able to see that staff with a variety of opinions and experiences will enrich the working environment and generate ideas, good working practices and high performance levels. If people are concerned with getting a pat on the back for agreeing with a manager rather than doing the best job possible then quality of work will suffer.
In the same way, an employee who puts aside his/her own opinions and ideas in order to simply agree with those of the manager or a colleague will quickly become frustrated and superfluous to requirements. In this day and age it is acceptable to disagree with anyone and put forward your own constructive thoughts and ideas, even if they are rejected.
The important thing to realise is that there is a method to achieving this. Not being a 'yes man' does not mean automatically becoming a 'no man.' Sometimes it is fine to agree for valid reasons, i.e. that you genuinely agree with the views the person puts forward. It is reasonable to state your agreement and the reasons why. When you disagree, it is worth considering the best to disagree in order to avoid offending people and becoming aggressive, while at the same time putting forward your valid opinions. You will gain the respect of your superiors and your colleagues if you approach a disagreement with respect.
The first thing to remember is that it is vital to remain calm and polite at all times, even if the other person is annoyed by your disagreement. One tactic that people use it is to cut off another person in the middle of a sentence. This means the other person never gets to fully get their meaning across and can leave feeling disrespected and undervalued. It is obvious that the other person could not be bothered to listen and therefore does not care about what he/she has to say. When confronted with this reaction, calmly state the fact that since you have taken the trouble to listen to the arguments of the other person, you would appreciate it if they would show you the same courtesy. The other person will have no choice but to comply or risk looking bullish in front of other colleagues.
The worst thing anybody can ever do during a disagreement is to make the argument personal. That kind of nonsense quickly degenerates into a firing of insults which achieves nothing and breaks down the working relationship. This sort of behaviour should be saved for the chat shows! Instead always keep in mind that the other person has views as valid as your own and the debate should be limited to the reasoning behind them.
Think about the body language you are using. Try not to fold your arms or clench your fists as this will appear aggressive, even if you do not mean it to be. Fidgeting, doodling or looking around the room lets the other person see that you do not respect them enough to give them your full attention. Make eye contact and remain still to show that you are listening and considering the points they are making.
It is often the case that a third party such as a manager, client or project leader will have the final say regardless of your opinions. Inevitably there will be occasions when they go with the other side. When this happens it is important to accept the decision with good grace and never sulk. Getting the job done well should be your prime focus at this point and offering to help do things in the way that has been decided will make you appear a stronger person. It is OK to say that you agree to disagree, but will do everything you can to help regardless. This keeps the focus on the work at hand rather than about getting one up on another colleague.
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