Negotiation skills are in common use all around us and on many levels. From the stallholder and customer at a car boot sale haggling over an ashtray priced at 75p, to the massively more serious negotiations between warring factions that will try to bring peace, we all negotiate at some point.

You may think that a good negotiator is one who goes in hard and gives nothing away in the quest to achieve his goal. This is not the case as it can have several undesirable knock-on effects.

If you come away from the negotiating table feeling that you have beaten your opposite number into a cocked hat then the likelihood is that you have not achieved the best possible result. Your opposite number will leave the table feeling somewhat resentful at having achieved nothing. Good negotiating skills show empathy for the views of the other person and an outcome that is satisfactory to both parties is sought, the so-called win-win result that is considered the ideal.

But this does raise a question. How can both parties leave the negotiating table feeling satisfied when they are seeking completely different goals?

One way is by offering concessions.

The words concession and concede have all kinds of negative connotations. My team (Newcastle) conceded a goal in injury time last Saturday, and a politician may concede defeat in an election before the result is announced. In negotiating, however, offering concessions can be seen as a positive move that can be of great use in achieving your goal, while also satisfying the other party.

Before you even begin negotiations, however, you should do some thorough preparation. You should go to the table knowing, not only exactly what you want, but also exactly what you would be prepared to settle for. If you cannot achieve these goals through negotiation then you must not offer yet more concessions for the sake of grinding out a result. Concessions are your bargaining chips and you should play them carefully. Here are two fundamental guidelines that may help you hang onto those chips for longer.

1 Only concede what you can afford.
2 Never give a concession away - always get something in return.

If you give concessions away instead of trading them then your opposite number will see this as weakness on your part and they will seek to obtain more from you. This is not conducive to both parties leaving the negotiations satisfied. Every concession has a value and you must recoup that value or your limitations as a negotiator will be exposed. You should adopt a position that is resolute but respectful and maintain this attitude throughout the negotiations.

A good negotiator would only trade a concession after making their opposite number believe that they are getting a better deal than they actually are. This can be done by 'bigging up' the value of the concession, but without resorting to lies (lies have no place in negotiating skills - or anywhere else for that matter). For example, if an item you are trying to sell has done rather well on the high street, let them know about it by reeling off some sales figures. This will place a higher value on this item if it is to be used as a concession.

Conversely, when you are seeking a concession you play down its value. For example, if you are trying to negotiate a price for a range of ladies' clothing, making a comment that a lot of the dresses are the same lines you sold last summer would weaken the bargaining position of your opposite number.

Offering, and accepting concessions are ways in which negotiating skills can achieve an outcome that is satisfactory to both parties, but negotiating is a far broader subject than this, requiring skills in many areas. A good negotiator will always be in demand in the modern workplace, where so much is decided across a polished table after negotiations.