Body Language: Things That Speak For You

As any good communications skills guru will tell you, actions can sometimes speak louder than words and the way we present ourselves physically can be interpreted much more powerfully than the words coming out of our mouths. If you've never analysed how you look when you speak, this is the time to do it. Of course, many of us make adjustments depending on who we're speaking to and what the situation is, but these tips can help you be more self-aware of body language, no matter what the communication scenario.

Eye contact

Even if you're addressing a room full of large people sat in all different directions, this should still be as big a consideration as speaking one to one. In an individual situation, too much eye contact can seem scary and inhibiting to a listener and not enough of it looks evasive and "shifty". You may think "but that's biased!" but that's the general, deep-seated feeling it evokes in our fellow humans, and we can't avoid it - we can only harness it to our own gain. Therefore, instead of staring into someone's eyes (often known to only be of interest to those in love!) shift your attention to other parts of their face subtly... eyebrow, bridge of the nose and so on. If addressing a large group, this is made easier by only holding someone's gaze for a split second or so - but do it around the room, "connecting" with each individual in turn who are in your line of sight. This draws people in and makes them listen a little more carefully to you.

Hands and arms

There are not so much things you should do with your hands and arms, as things you should avoid. Folded arms and clenched fists are defensive and send the unconscious message that you want your listener or audience to go away (you don't, do you?). Try to use your hands to make your point when speaking - subtly. This makes you look more fluid and less wooden, but use it too much and your wild gesticulations will put the listeners (i.e. observers) off what you're saying.

Feet and legs

Remember to move them! So many of us are scared of public speaking, and that's fair enough, but to stay there rooted to the spot makes it easier for people to "switch off" from what you're saying. Claim your space, walk (don't pace) a little, use the room. Of course, the opposite applies if you're engaged in one to one conversation with someone - have you ever been distracted by someone shifting their weight from one foot to the other when talking to you? No need to be frozen, but any movement should be kept to a minimum.

The things you can't help

There are couple of bodily functions, like sweating, shaking, speech impediments or natural nervousness that nobody can help when under stress (a presentation, a job interview, talking to superiors). All you can do is prepare for them as best you can. We all know our own bodies and know what to expect of them in a stressful situation. Preparation is key for these elements, as much as it is important to the content of your speech or conversation.

Above all - have fun and expand your comfort zone! The more you practise, become aware of and hone your body language, the more it will become natural, and the less you'll have to think about it.