Improve your Emotional Intelligence in Virtual Comms

You may not think that emotional intelligence is relevant to you. But, have you ever been upset by an e-mail, WhatsApp, Teams or Skype message that you received?

With stress levels higher than usual in the current lockdown conditions, you may find some people are more sensitive. This article will give you several tips to increase your emotional intelligence and avoid offending your colleagues and clients when communicating virtually.

You only get one opportunity to make a good first impression and build a good relationship. Don’t waste it!

Put credit in the emotional bank account

In his classic personal development book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey talks about the concept of the emotional bank account. Basically, when you do positive things for others you are putting positive credit into the emotional bank account, which means that people will treat you in a more favourable way.

You can put deposits into the emotional bank account in several ways, including:

  1. Attending to the little things – which are the big things in relationships
  2. Keeping commitments
  3. Apologising sincerely when making a withdrawal

Thank You! Heart Text

Be careful of withdrawals from the emotional bank account

Withdrawals from the emotional bank account, and the resulting lack of trust and rapport, might be caused by actions such as not keeping promises, being unkind or arrogant.

Reread your message before you click send

You may find in face-to-face it’s easy to build rapport, but in written communication it’s easy to get the tone wrong. Showing a lack of empathy and thoughtfulness in virtual communication can have a huge effect on a relationship. In the future that person may not want to help you out, instead preferring to work with others who have perhaps taken the time to simply say thank you or built a much stronger emotional connection. Remember the power of a simple thank you!

 Don’t send a message when you feel negative emotions

Have you ever sent an e-mail when you were angry? With phones in our pockets, with the stress of the lockdown and some with the added pressure of children and financial worries, it’s too easy to send a quick message on Teams or WhatsApp that could get your colleague’s back-up and negatively impact your relationship.

If you feel stressed or angry, be sure to pause and reread your message before you send it. If in doubt sleep on it, often things will look totally different in the morning.

 Compliment others

When we praise others in a sincere and honest way it reduces the risk they will feel annoyed or frustrated. Most people love to be told they’ve done a good job! Usually, it will help to enhance your relationship, so try to think of how you can give a compliment to your colleagues or clients when you communicate next.

Woman Using Laptop

 

Conclusion

During this stressful time for people around the world, it’s important to be emotionally intelligent and mindful of our behaviour so we avoid offending others by mistake when working virtually. Take care in your virtual communication, rereading your communication before sending and taking the time to compliment you’ll find yourself on the right track!

To understand more about virtual communication and how to improve the way you work, you may be interested in our Microsoft Teams: Communication and Collaboration course or simply just our Effective Communication Skills training program.

How to Deliver Effective Virtual Feedback

Feedback is important, but as the saying goes “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.”

If you give feedback the wrong way, especially virtually, it can negatively impact your relationships at work to devastating effect!

This blog will help you structure and deliver feedback more efficiently and effectively while working virtually, whether to your colleagues, your team members or even more senior staff.

Be confident enough to speak out 

We all know it’s important to pick our battles. Sometimes it’s best to leave things and the problem resolves itself. However, if the same mistake or issue keeps happening and has a negative impact on the productivity or morale of your team, it’s critical to have the confidence to speak up.

This also requires the skill of being assertive, rather than passive or aggressive. People who are too passive don’t have the confidence to speak up, whereas people who are aggressive often shout at others or give feedback in a rude manner that causes offence.

Person Writing On Notebook

Show empathy 

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Try to understand the challenges and pressures they are under before giving feedback. While it’s preferable to keep your feedback conversations brief, if you show some empathy at the start of the conversation it can land better.

For example:

I know you have been under a lot of pressure recently to meet the end of year target. The way that you spoke to me in the recent meeting felt aggressive. I hope you can speak to me more respectfully in the future. 

Be specific – give examples 

When giving feedback, give specific examples and explain the impact of those actions, rather than just generic observations. In this way the feedback will be clearer and much easier to understand and implement.

Green Dart Pointed to Dartboard

Leave time for the other person to speak 

After giving your feedback, try to pause, let the other person reflect and give them the chance to share their opinion if they wish. Don’t push them to respond to your feedback immediately.

Depending on their natural behaviour style, they may need time to process what you shared. Also be aware others might respond immediately and explode! Or hopefully just apologise or give their side of what happened.

Use video if you can

Where possible call the person via Zoom or Teams and turn your video on. There fewer chances for misunderstanding when communicating over video call as you can read each other’s body language.

Summary

Don’t shy away from giving feedback. In many ways, with so much uncertainty and change going on, it’s more important than ever. Use these tips to support your team and deliver feedback effectively – they will thank you in the long run, honest!

If you’re interested in developing key management skills like giving feedback and performance management, take a look at STL’s Professional and Management Development training programmes,especially our Managing  Teams Remotely course.