98.8% Of all customers recommend us, we're so confident about our results we publish all reviews and stats
View Live Stats View ReviewsPrevious article Next article Management Training articles
How Being Assertive Can Make All The Difference
Mon 22nd March 2010
Plans will certainly run most smoothly if everyone concerned is being reasonable, helpful and considerate. Unfortunately, life doesn't tend to work out that way. Expecting customers, clients and colleagues to always act in the way most beneficial to your business is more than a little unrealistic. Human nature insists that individuals' behaviour can never be absolutely relied upon; we're all of us rather too complicated for that. Instead, we have to adapt, and work through the obstacles that problematic behaviour may lay in our path. If you're dealing with individuals whose behaviour may become an issue, you'll have to act effectively and appropriately to ensure that the company's progress continues unhindered.
Aggression and Submission
Behavioural conflicts have two opposing emotional stances at their root - aggressiveness and submissiveness. Aggression is inherently disrespectful of another party's position and boundaries, and seeks to gain a dominant result. Submission, equally, is disrespectful - of one's own position - and seeks to find a solution to the situation by appeasing the aggressor. Neither of these stances is conducive to progress and stability for a business.
It goes without saying that submissive behaviour risks putting the company into a situation where harm is likely to result; but aggressive behaviour is also damaging. In the short term, aggression can result in limited gains - but it will break down any relationship with clients, cause disruption amongst colleagues, and drive customers away. In the long term, the only way forward is one that goes between the two extremes.
Assertive behaviour finds that middle way, and respects all parties (including the assertive party themselves). When faced with aggressive positions, the assertive individual will defend themselves, their interests and boundaries, but without seeking to overpower and dominate the aggressor. When faced with submissive positions, on the other hand, the assertive individual will respect the boundaries of the other party, and avoid aggression entirely. By taking an assertive line, you can remain in control, even when others are losing their cool, and with the right assertiveness training, it becomes easier each time you behave assertively.
Assertive actions
It's of little use, though, simply deciding that you're going to be assertive in a situation and expecting it all to flow smoothly. If you've tended to take a passive or aggressive stance in the past, you'll need to make significant changes to reach an assertive position - and you'll need to be ready for the changes, you'll need to prepare yourself. If you can take time in advance to envisage all likely scenarios, it'll be easier to foresee what kind of behaviour you're likely to be up against. And forewarned is forearmed; if assertive behaviour doesn't come naturally (and it doesn't for so many of us), then there's a lot to be gained from deciding what reaction will suit beforehand, when the pressure's off.
It's important to know when to say yes and when no; if you are ready for those questions, you'll find it easier to stand your ground. Those who take an aggressive stance should be expected to try to manipulate you, but if you see this coming, it will be a lot easier to resist it. Similarly, it's easier to resist any temptation to dominate a submissive party if you've prepared for it.
Communicating assertiveness
But even if you do prepare thoroughly, how will you know for sure that your stance has been received as intended by the other party? Body language and tone are key in managing behavioural situations, your own and that of other parties. The assertive party will remain calm, and respect the other's personal space. When faced with a submissive position, it's important to maintain a steady, non-confrontational tone and choice of words, and to avoid physically intimidating actions (such as standing too close, leaning forward, aggressive hand movements).
On the other hand, an aggressive approach would involve just such actions, coupled with forceful and threatening words and tone - and should be countered with a consistent tone of voice, clear and precise words, and steady posture, neither pushing forward nor falling back. The aggressor may expect submissive actions, such as an uncertain tone and an involuntary leaning or stepping away, and to avoid these gives a clear indication to the aggressive party that you are standing your ground and asserting your position.
Dealing with problematic behaviour is an inescapable part of business, and prosperity depends not on how often such issues arise but upon how you deal with them. If you can foresee and understand the behavioural issues you're likely to come across, and if you're able then to take an assertive stance, and make that stance visible to all, your organisation can benefit immensely. Assertiveness has to be learnt, and prepared for, and in this respect a short training course may be very helpful - and a new, more assertive and more successful you can be at the forefront of a brighter future for your company.
Author is a freelance copywriter. For more information on an assertiveness course, please visit https://www.stl-training.co.uk
Original article appears here:
https://www.stl-training.co.uk/article-789-how-being-assertive-can-make-all-difference.html
London's widest choice in
dates, venues, and prices
Public Schedule:
On-site / Closed company:
TestimonialsThe Royal Society
Industry Programmes Manager John Elvin Excel Intermediate Very good - Excel is a big topic but with what I learned today it should have a big impact PSI CRO AG
Clinical Trial Administrator II Lauren Sutton Presenting Skills Honesty felt sad today that the training sessions are over! This has been by far the best communications training I’ve participated in and look forward to the next set of classes. Alsbridge
Marketing Executive Holly Nicholson PowerPoint Intermediate Advanced Trainer was patient and address every issue raised. Also took the time to make sure our individual needs were seen to and that we had a full understanding of all topics. |
PUBLICATION GUIDELINES