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Balancing Your Anger Will Balance Your Life
Wed 24th March 2010
The Greek philosopher Aristotle quotes 'The person who is angry at the right things and toward the right people and also in the right way at the right time and for the right length of time is morally praiseworthy.' This goes to show that anger is not something which is unnatural. It is a straightforward reaction to something which creates a feeling of resentment. However, when this resentment creates an over elevated response to a situation, there can be severe repercussions.
The philosophy behind rage
It is difficult to fully understand the biological aspects to what stimulates anger. The general consensus is that these feelings are a direct result of the fight or flight response which has been one of the most integral facets of evolution. Neuroscience shows that the generation of emotions is a highly complex area which also produces many physical reactions in the body.
Biologically, anger is recognised on a physical level by the rapid beating of the heart. Blood rushes quickly to the hands and hormones release glucose and adrenaline. The face often appears flushed, muscles become highly tensed, nostrils flare and the jaw becomes clenched. There is also the strong impulsive reaction to strike out.
These symptoms vary in intensity from person to person so it is hard to measure the exact proportion of each symptom as a whole. However, repeated levels of defensiveness which are displayed through either physical or verbal expression are a sign that something may be wrong. These feelings should be investigated so as effective forms of managing anger can be established
How to recognise anger in the workplace
Below is a list of questions which could help you determine if you have a problem with anger.
Do you often look back and feel surprised at how many times you become angry?
Have you ever struck and broke an object as a direct result of frustration, triggered from an argument?
Do you use profanities when arguing with someone?
Do people who are close to you, often go out of their way to avoid conflicts with you?
Do little things annoy you - for example, waiting in a large queue?
Have you ever threatened someone in anger by pointing your finger or raising your fist, even if you had no intention of using physical violence?
Do you find yourself constantly raising past issues when arguing with someone close to you?
Do you often find yourself becoming angry when you think about wrongs which have been done to you in the past
Do you have sleepless nights worrying about confrontations you have encountered during the day?
It is not necessary to display all of these symptoms to ascertain whether you have a potential anger problem. In fact, every individual is different and there are many other displays of anger which have not been mentioned above.
How to manage feelings of anger
Whether you want to improve your mental well-being or deal with a mentally or physically destructive relationship with anger, spotting the tale-tell signs will help improve your self-awareness of this emotion and help to reverse its effects.
Whenever you feel anger rising as a direct result of a situation, stop and mentally ask yourself if this situation will mean anything to you in twelve months time. 99.9% of the time, it will not. This will help to lessen the intensity of the rage.
Learn to recognise what triggers these angry feelings so as you can avoid the situation occurring repeatedly. By reducing exposure to the situation, you can disassociate with these feelings so as they do not become a regular part of you.
When you find yourself in the thick of an argument try to avoid the accusatory level of attack and opt to convey your feelings in the first person. For example, instead of saying "You were meant to finish this project," you could say "I am really upset that this project is still outstanding," This slight change is a compromising way for both parties to address an issue in a more civilized manner.
Try to avoid venting your anger in the form of physical violence. Hammering your fists against a wall or screaming at the top of your voice will only elevate the biochemical process which triggered the angered to rise in the first place. The brain cannot differentiate between you putting up a fight for your life and attacking a wall.
Don't storm out of an argument as a way of showing aggression. Walk away from a hostile situation as a way of showing that you need to calm down. You could even announce that you need to be on your own for a while. When you walk away, the strong emotions decrease and you are able to think more rationally about how to resolve the matter at hand. If nothing positive comes to mind, make it happen by forcing yourself to focus on something else. Some people hum their favourite song as a way of quashing anger and soothing the soul, which is a great form of self medication.
Not all of these tips will work for you but some will certainly help you to curb those emotions. Find one which you think will work for you and use it every time you find yourself expressing anger.
Remember...you do not have to attend every argument that you are invited to!
Author is a freelance copywriter. For information on emotional intelligence training, please visit https://www.stl-training.co.uk
Original article appears here:
https://www.stl-training.co.uk/article-810-balancing-your-anger-will-balance-your-life.html
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