It would be lovely if we could all just get along but unfortunately it doesn't always work that way. If you are a project manager dealing with difficult team members be sure to remember these golden rules.
Managing a project is fraught with difficulties. There are the practical and technical aspects to contend with; the classic balancing act between time and budget, planning for unforeseen developments that may play havoc with your resources, organising your manpower in the most effective, productive way.
But, more often than not, these technical concerns are exacerbated by what is known as 'the human element.' As project manager you can organise yourself as efficiently as you like but you cannot account for the attitude, stubbornness or sheer unpleasantness of some of your team members.
This dysfunctional dynamic can manifest itself in a number of ways, as colleagues may feel they should be in charge of the operation or may consider the project itself is a waste of their time and beneath their abilities. The tempting thing to do in situations where individuals are exhibiting 'toxic' behaviour is simply to ignore it; none of us crave conflict and awkward conversations, right? But if these issues are not addressed swiftly and firmly they can rapidly escalate out of control, definitively undermining your authority as PM and leading to your brightest stars defecting to other companies with less infighting.
One of the key things to remember when dealing with difficult individuals is not to take it personally. Being project manager can be highly rewarding and confidence boosting when it is going well but when you hit obstacles the buck stops with you and this can make you feel fragile and vulnerable. Becoming personally offended by troublesome elements within your team plays into this sense of vulnerability and pretty soon you lose focus, confidence and, ultimately, the respect of the rest of your team.
Difficult individuals have a problem with the world generally. It may manifest itself in criticism of you but there is always a deeper, underlying reason why the person is behaving obnoxiously. If you can acknowledge this fact and understand that it is no reflection on you and your abilities it becomes much, much easier to deal with these people.
By the same token it is essential not to treat problematic team members differently from the rest of the team. Be patient with them and listen to their point of view however opposed to yours it may be. If there is no real substance to their behaviour being treated calmly and equably will tend to take the wind out of their sails. If they do not get the attention they crave they may well pipe down.
Of course you should not close yourself off to the possibility of awkward individuals actually making a certain amount of sense. Just because the way they choose to express themselves is obnoxious it does not necessarily follow that their argument is all hot air. Take the time to see past the delivery and take their opinions on board. It may aid the success of the project in the long run and could also lead to the building of a genuine working relationship with an individual that you found a complete nightmare not so long ago.
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