It's surprising, but many of us get our ideas on how to negotiate from Hollywood! Here are some myths you can ignore about out negotiation - do you believe any of them?
Thanks to movies about hard-nosed businessmen and politicians, there are many misunderstandings when it comes to the purpose, look and feel of negotiation. It's a more genteel art than you would believe. Here are some common myths that you can safely ignore when you're learning the rules of negotiation in business.
1. My way or the highway?
Far too many people think that negotiation is essentially bullying the other person into giving you what you want,in other words, getting your own way. Negotiation is far removed from simply making the other party back down; it's about reaching a compromise. You both have an element of power and "cards to play" in the negotiation process, otherwise you wouldn't be engaging in it at all! Negotiation is an exchange, not a compromise. True, compromises will exist, but only those you can afford to make for the good of the whole.
2. Using power-play tactics
These are so common, and so widely know, that the other party you're negotiating with will recognise them and not be particularly influenced. "Power plays" are using things like body language to display your power or intimidate the other person (you see - intimidation only relates back to bullying and shouldn't be used).
For example, you sitting higher than them behind a desk, creating a (fake, usually) image of power and putting them in a weaker physical position. It's more likely to make them dislike you rather than give you what you want on your side of the negotiation. The same goes for meeting someone in your home or anything connected with you where it makes the other person uneasy because they are in your "territory". In business - it's always best to meet at a neutral place so this isn't misconstrued one way or the other.
3. Naming numbers
"Never be the first to name a figure" is a common negotiation myth, and it only really works in very select circumstances, many of which would never happen to you in the course of a business deal. For a start, if you're negotiating with someone in the same business or who knows your company very well, the chances are that they already know the kind of budget and figures that you have to play with in the first place. Being coy about it may make you look less knowledgeable rather than giving you any advantage in the long run.
These are the most common myths. What, therefore, should be the complementing, opposite behaviour?
First, remember that negotiation is a way for two people to mutually agree on an outcome that benefits them both - its' not about ploughing the other person into the ground and taking what you want.
Second, remember that being friendly and open (using body language or not) is more likely to make the other person make a compromise rather than trying to show them who's boss.
Third, in business, figures play a prominent part and it's good to have one to work from in the proceedings - and that means naming it.
You can fine-tune your negotiation skills through a training course or simply by practise, but don't fall into the movie myth trap while you're doing it!
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