Self-leadership is never as important as now. There are so many avenues in life where we can find ourselves lost. Some roads place us in marvellous spectacles. Other roads take us perilously close to the edge of our greatest dread, while others encourage, by their very nature, an opportunity to playfully explore and challenge ourselves.
Whatever road we happen to be on, how we view the scenery can so often be through the perspective of past experiences. Where some might see a playground of exciting possibilities, others see danger.
How we view the world around us can affect the way we interact, our ability to absorb new information, and ultimately impact the way we see ourselves.
Stop judging yourself by what happens to you in life
A wise man once said that it is our failures that define our success. It’s important to reflect and realise that sometimes failures are not what they seem. They may have been nothing more than a forced change of direction. An interruption to a narrow view. Sometimes life is just random and that these events happen not to conspire against us, but to offer an opportunity to define who we are and what we believe in. To show us something new about ourselves.
As humans we don’t like random, cognitively it’s much more pleasing to think logically and to join the dots. This happened because of this, therefore… It is the mistake of the ages and why gamblers are so addicted. My luck is due to change, I can’t keep losing? Understanding this simple philosophy – that life is beyond our control – is to choose by strength. Enjoying the present is where our focus should be, and is a key to self-leadership and inner confidence.
Forgive yourself and others for past mistakes
There is no greater gift you can give yourself than forgiveness. As part of life’s experience, you must live your mistakes and allow others to live theirs. Some mistakes leave you feeling overwhelmed ‘how could I have been so stupid?’ It’s a dangerous outlook and breeds bad habits.
Harbouring anger for what others have done is also a serious diversion from the present. When we run ourselves or others down, it affects the way we see things. I am a victim, or I am stupid, are labels that mean nothing. Yet they give us infinite excuses like ‘why bother?’ or ‘I am not worth this’ when an opportunity comes along.
Self-defeating attitudes linger like bad breath and affect the way we experience new flavours. Instead consider, I move forward in life with grace and ease, and with kindness to myself and all that I touch.
There are no losers, only an ill-fitting label that becomes a barrier to the next great view. In some areas you will define yourself with success and others will be an intersection to a better road.
The ultimate thrill in life is it is your choice of which direction to take. How can you build your self-leadership going forwards?