{"id":6474,"date":"2023-06-09T15:00:37","date_gmt":"2023-06-09T15:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/?p=6474"},"modified":"2024-05-12T01:13:53","modified_gmt":"2024-05-12T01:13:53","slug":"assertiveness-simplified-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/assertiveness-simplified-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Assertiveness Simplified"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Assertiveness \u2013 what exactly is it? Getting your own way? Saying how you feel? Being upfront and honest? Telling it how it is? Well, many people get hung up and confused about what exactly <a href=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/syl\/84\/building-confidence-and-assertiveness-at-work-1.html\">assertiveness<\/a> is and how you act in an assertive manner.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-6477 size-full\" title=\"assertivness\" src=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness2.jpg\" alt=\"assertivness\" width=\"1200\" height=\"800\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness2.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness2-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness2-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness2-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>If you research dictionary definitions, you\u2019ll find the following: \u201cconfident and forceful behaviour.\u201d or \u201cbehaving confidently and able to say in a direct way what you want or believe\u201d, and \u201cSomeone who is assertive states their needs and opinions clearly, so that people take notice\u201d, plus many more definitions. One simple way we at STL define assertiveness, is:<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cBehaviour that involves standing up for your own rights, expressing your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and beliefs in a direct, honest way\u2026without violating another person\u2019s rights.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Another great way, when you want to assert yourself is to do the following: <strong>show respect to yourself, then say or do what you need to, and then importantly \u2013 show the same respect to the other person(s)<\/strong>. As an example, if you make excuses for yourself by saying \u201cSorry to ask and maybe I shouldn\u2019t\u2026\u201d then this is not exactly showing yourself much self-respect \u2013 this is passive\/submissive behaviour. Likewise saying for example, \u201cI don\u2019t care what you think &#8211; I feel this!\u201d is showing the other involved little to no respect and is aggressive.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>If you sometimes lack the confidence to act with assertiveness then these tips can be a big help:<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Visualise yourself where you want to be<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mattnorman.com\/why-you-should-embrace-what-scares-you\/\">Do things that scare you \u2013 frequently<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Question your inner critic<\/li>\n<li>Focus on what you have achieved (rather than haven\u2019t)<\/li>\n<li>Help others<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t see others as better than you, just different<\/li>\n<li>Be able to say no and not feel guilty<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-6467 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/empower3.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"800\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/empower3.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/empower3-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/empower3-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/empower3-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2><strong>Other considerations for ensuring you remain assertive are:<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Use short, concise sentences<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t use lots of excuses<\/li>\n<li>Think about what you will say before you say it<\/li>\n<li>Make sure your body language supports your position<\/li>\n<li>Use the present tense; deal with what exists today<\/li>\n<li>Be positive \u2013 rather than affirming what you do not want<\/li>\n<li>Use positive self-talk<\/li>\n<li>Act \u201cas if\u201d &#8211; give yourself permission to believe the idea is true right now<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-6479 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness3.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"800\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness3.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness3-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness3-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness3-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2><strong>Conclusion<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>We all have rights at work, in addition to our legal working rights, and these are what is reasonable for us to expect in our relationships and in our communications with others. In the workplace as we interact with colleagues, superiors, and clients, we have a right to feel comfortable and secure in our relationships and communications. As well as this, we have a right to be treated fairly and respectfully. We should be able to express our opinions honestly without reprimand, whether we agree with others\u2019 views or not, and seek assistance when needed. However, we should also take responsibility for our behaviour and mistakes, keep in mind that everyone is human, and no-one is perfect.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-6478 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"800\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness-1.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness-1-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/assertiveness-1-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Assertive people feel connected to other people. They make statements of needs and feelings clearly, appropriately, and respectfully. Feeling in control of themselves, they speak in calm and clear tones, are good listeners, and maintain good eye contact. They create a respectful environment for others, and do not allow others to abuse or manipulate them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Assertiveness \u2013 what exactly is it? Getting your own way? Saying how you feel? Being upfront and honest? Telling it how it is? Well, many people get hung up and confused about what exactly assertiveness is and how you act in an assertive manner. If you research dictionary definitions, you\u2019ll find the following: \u201cconfident and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,632,633],"tags":[671,156,679],"class_list":["post-6474","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hints-tips","category-leadership-development","category-professional-development","tag-assertiveness","tag-development","tag-growth"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6474","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6474"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6474\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7535,"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6474\/revisions\/7535"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6474"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6474"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6474"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}