{"id":6328,"date":"2022-11-02T11:51:54","date_gmt":"2022-11-02T11:51:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/?p=6328"},"modified":"2023-12-30T23:04:43","modified_gmt":"2023-12-30T23:04:43","slug":"effective-communication-having-difficult-conversations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/effective-communication-having-difficult-conversations\/","title":{"rendered":"Effective Communication: Having Difficult Conversations"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In all our careers there will be occasions where we need to have <a href=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/syl\/370\/dealing-with-difficult-conversations.html\">difficult conversations<\/a> with our colleagues, these may be focused on performance management, poor behaviour, giving bad news, or be of a personal or sensitive nature, whatever the issue is, many of us do not look forward to these moments.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-6330 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"627\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos1.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos1-300x157.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos1-1024x535.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos1-768x401.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3>Why do we put these conversations off?<\/h3>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>According to stats from the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cipd.co.uk\/\">CIPD<\/a>, the main reasons for putting these conversations off were the following:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Didn\u2019t want to create a bad atmosphere <strong>29%<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>To avoid confrontation <strong>18%<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>Didn\u2019t know how to say it <strong>16%<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>Worried about the reprisals <strong>11%<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>Thought it might make the situation worse <strong>11%<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>Didn\u2019t want to upset someone <strong>8%<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>Other reasons (e.g. lack of back up, lack of time) <strong>7%<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong>And what happened? They asked \u201cDid the issue\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Resolve itself <strong>4%<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>Get worse <strong>43%<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>Stay the same <strong>49%<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The other <strong>4%<\/strong> reported that someone else had tackled the issue\u2026<\/p>\n<p>\u2026.not great results. On our excellent Effective Communications Skills <a href=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/ps-effective-communication-skills.php\">course<\/a>, we look at ways to make these conversations far less challenging and more importantly help them to be more productive and valuable for all. Let\u2019s have a look at some of the ideas.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-6331 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos2.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"627\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos2.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos2-300x157.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos2-1024x535.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos2-768x401.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3>Reflect on the situation<\/h3>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Before you go headlong into having a difficult conversation, it is useful to pause and reflect on the situation; considering these questions will really help you plan:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>What type of conflict is it?<\/li>\n<li>What facts, purpose and values are involved?<\/li>\n<li>What personality types are involved?<\/li>\n<li>What is your natural response to the conflict? Avoid, Accommodate, Compete,<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Compromise, Collaborate?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Is this the best way? What might work better?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>After some reflection, you will be in a better position to have a far more productive conversation; the following steps can assist you.<\/p>\n<p><strong> <img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-6102\" src=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/Job-Interview.bmp\" alt=\"\" width=\"1080\" height=\"720\" \/><\/strong><\/p>\n<h3>1 &#8211; Everyone tells it like they see it<\/h3>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Ask questions to draw out the other\u2019s side of the conflict, there are always two sides to a story<\/li>\n<li>Set ground rules, this helps keep the conversation on track, professional and focused.<\/li>\n<li>Listen without judging and avoid interrupting or blaming, hear the other person out &#8211; fully.<\/li>\n<li>Take notes as you may need to refer to these to confirm what has been said or for future events.<\/li>\n<li>Paraphrase what they have said before saying your version to check for understanding. Paraphrasing will confirm you really heard the other party.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-6332 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos3.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"627\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos3.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos3-300x157.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos3-1024x535.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos3-768x401.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3>2 &#8211; Everything is on the table<\/h3>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Share your understanding of the conflict so the other party sees your point of view.<\/li>\n<li>Present your case by using \u201cI\u201d statements, talk for yourself and use your own evidence and feelings and understanding of the situation.<\/li>\n<li>Get to the point and focus on the issue, not on personalities, accusations, or past encounters<\/li>\n<li>Include feelings, facts, and perspectives \u2013 these are important and matter.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-6334 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos4.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"627\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos4.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos4-300x157.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos4-1024x535.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos4-768x401.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3>3 &#8211; Focus on the future<\/h3>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Ask for commitment to working out a solution, without this, problems will not resolve. The issues will reoccur.<\/li>\n<li>Create a mutual action plan, discuss, and agree a solution together.<\/li>\n<li>Get an agreement with specifics.<\/li>\n<li>Follow through \u2013 do what you said you\u2019d do, talk is cheap, actions say far more.<\/li>\n<li>Schedule an evaluation meeting, review what happened, do ideas need modifying? What has been learnt?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong> <img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-6333 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos5.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"627\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos5.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos5-300x157.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos5-1024x535.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/difficult-convos5-768x401.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/strong><\/p>\n<h3>Summary<\/h3>\n<p>Some great ideas to help you find a way forward when you next need to have a difficult conversation \u2013 learn more with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\">STL<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In all our careers there will be occasions where we need to have difficult conversations with our colleagues, these may be focused on performance management, poor behaviour, giving bad news, or be of a personal or sensitive nature, whatever the issue is, many of us do not look forward to these moments. Why do we [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,632,634,638,633,635,636],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hints-tips","category-leadership-development","category-management-training","category-professional-management","category-professional-development","category-sales-customer-service","category-soft-skills"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6328"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6328\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6335,"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6328\/revisions\/6335"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stl-training.co.uk\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}